At a crossroads.

In life, there may be times, where things may not go as you might have planned, where the inevitable simply creeps upon you like a slithery snake. And I’ve had plenty of these situations throughout my life, where seemingly unavoidable disasters have struck. It’s how we learn to get out of these so-called ‘disasters,’ that one truly shows resiliency from downfall. It’s hard, believe me, as I sit here and write. Thinking of my next move.

Within the past year I have: started a new teaching position, had an extremely difficult time at that position, suffered a dreadful fall walking my dog, was out of work at my ‘new position’ for 2 months, fell off the scooter that helped me get around and injured my knee, was off work again another month, resigned from my ‘new job,’ needed surgery on my injured ankle, fell into depression (no surprise here), started physical therapy, continued therapy, enjoyed some beautiful weather during the summer, started walking my dog again, started applying for various positions, had some interviews, heard nothing back. More sadness. And now. A call back.

I contemplate. I finished my Master’s degree in Education with a focus on urban studies this summer. Something I forgot to mention above. I had 6 credits left; my thesis. I had to put it on hold because my father had fallen ill, and then passed away suddenly last year. This degree meant so much to me, my father, and my mother, as I was the first and only in my family to attend college. I am very proud of all I have accomplished, and by no means is any of the degree’s or certification’s I have received nothing less than every ounce of all I have given them, and more.

It’s just that, on a whim, I applied at a bookstore that I frequent, and I got a call back. And I’ve had such mixed feelings since. I’ve worked so hard throughout my life, yet right now, this is the only place that wants to hire me. Do I take the position because it is at least work? I sit here at a crossroads, and it really should be so simple. But for some reason, it leaves me questioning. Aren’t I meant to do something bigger?

-K